Meet Suzanne, our new Retail Sales Consultant! I am THRILLED to welcome Suzanne to the BROOKLYN BORN team, she is absolutely amazing. I met Suzanne while I was working at Diapers.com as a buyer, and she was working on the sales side at Aden & Anais. Suzanne didn't cover my account, but we still got to know each other because she's so outgoing and fun. I knew right away that I wanted her as a friend! Suzanne is smart, spunky, and she definitely keeps it real! So I thought it only fitting that Suzanne be our next contributor to tell her motherhood story and encourage other women to do the same. Suzanne is the mother to a gorgeous, smart, sassy two-year-old, Sadie, who keeps her very busy! Hear Suzanne discuss what it was like for her to become a Mom and to watch Sadie grow into an exuberant toddler. 

What’s your getting pregnant story?

For me, getting pregnant was a bit of a chore. It was something on my to-do list and the timing was strategic, not romantic. We knew we wanted to get pregnant, so we used ovulation trackers and we were lucky to get pregnant right away. But, unfortunately, we lost the first baby. We had heard the heartbeat at our previous appointment, and losing the baby was pretty traumatic. It was a partial molar pregnancy (that caused the miscarriage), which is extremely rare. It made me feel guilty, like I had done something wrong and so it was taken away from me, like maybe I hadn’t appreciated the experience enough. After months of weekly HCG tests, we got the go ahead from my OBGYN to start trying again, and were lucky enough to get pregnant right away. I had a tough time with the pregnancy. I was always starving and I was eating at all times; I gained 70 pounds. I felt sick for the majority of the 9+ months. I was also terrified the whole time that something bad would happen because of my first pregnancy; from the moment I found out I was pregnant to the moment she came out. Even now, I still worry all the time about her.

Did you wear maternity clothes?

Yes, I was in maternity clothes at about 10 weeks!

Pregnancy Style Philosophy:

I was in St. Louis at the time, so my fashion options were pretty limited. I was wearing maternity from Target. My uniform was black leggings, a maternity tank top, and a long cardigan. I literally wore that everyday.

Favorite Digital Inspiration:

I follow a lot of people on Instagram that I love. I love Fashion Kids, Just The Design, Scout Fashion, Lulu Frost, PopSugar Moms, Instalmanya, and thetrendykidz– there are a lot.

How were the first six weeks after you brought Sadie home?

They were a blur. I honestly don’t remember. I just didn’t know what to do with her. We wanted her so badly, and we went through so much to have her. I remember when we came home with her for the first time, she was in her car seat, and Pat and I looked at each other and were like “what do we do now?” It’s so crazy that this little human is inside of you, and then they’re out in the world and your life is forever changed. I was lucky to have my Mom helping me. My husband was amazing but he had spent his week of vacation with me in the hospital so he had to go right back to work once we were home. I had a serious post-op infection, and I wasn’t able to care for her in the way that I wanted to, so luckily my mom was there to help take care of her; she was my baby nurse. The whole thing was surreal and terrifying. I was constantly checking to make sure she was still breathing, I still do.

What’s been the toughest part of transitioning from baby to toddler?

You have this realization that time is flying and they’re growing up so quickly. You don’t know where the time has gone. I thought it was so hard when she was a baby, and I realize now that I had no idea what hard was. Now I have a sassy toddler on my hands and that’s harder. I wish I had traveled more when she was a baby, and that I savored more of those quiet, cuddly moments. Now when I ask her to come snuggle, she has to be in the mood and it has to be on her terms.

What been the best part of the transition from baby to toddler?

Now she’s my little buddy. She has conversations with me, and she can visibly enjoy interacting with other people. And she gets joy out of things that she didn’t care about before. She gets so excited from the smallest things like seeing a dog, or a boat, or a big truck. She’s like a cute, tiny friend.

Life Hack:

Sadie’s iPad, let’s be real, it’s the only way I can get anything done. 

Mom staple you couldn’t live without:

Coffee. And you need a couple of friends who you can keep it real with, without feeling judged. 

What’s the toughest part of your schedule?

That there is no schedule, just an attempted schedule. My schedule is completely dictated by Sadie now, so if she’s sick or off of her schedule, my schedule needs to change. It’s also really tough to schedule time to myself or time with my husband. Or even time to take a shower. Showering has become a luxury.

What would make things easier? If you could change one thing about the current support network for women, what would it be?

A lot of women feel that there is a certain way that you’re supposed to act, or a specific way that you’re supposed to feel when you get pregnant, or when your child is born. As a result, many women work so hard to keep up this façade and keep their true feelings inside. I think it probably contributes to the intensity of postpartum depression, feelings of guilt, feeling alone or “different” because they don’t feel comfortable expressing themselves. Being pregnant isn’t always so beautiful – I gained 70 pounds, my boobs were leaking at 20 weeks, and I definitely did not feel beautiful or good about myself. You can love your child but not like them all the time. You might not feel an overwhelming love when they’re first born. It doesn’t mean you won’t be an amazing parent who will develop an unwavering, unconditional love. Everyone’s journey is different and that’s ok. If women felt they could be more honest about how they’re feeling without the fear of judgment, I think that would make things easier on everyone.

What’s been the best part?

Seeing Sadie so happy. Seeing the joy she brings us, our family and those around her. Seeing her smile. I know that we’ve raised (thus far!) a very happy, lovable, funny, accepting girl. She’s kind of a badass. She’ll fall and just shake it off. Although I don’t think I’m Mom of the Year by any stretch of the imagination, and I certainly make mistakes on a daily basis, I know my husband and I have raised a really awesome kid. She’s fantastic and I’m proud of her.